LIFE UPDATE, NEW LESSONS & DREAMY DENIM
Phew. I’m writing this from my aisle seat on a flight from Geneva to London. This last couple of weeks have been ridiculous. I actually like the feeling of the seatbelt that I fastened really tight, not because I’m scared to fly, but because feeling put feels amazing right now. Can we take a break, please? I feel like I’ve been running around like a mad cow, so being stuck 7 miles above ground suddenly feels incredible.
If you read my last update, I was telling you how I’m going to share more on here, take you through the makings of Freddie as I go. I’m surfing womanhood, it’s a beautiful thing, but let me pack you guys along with me. Reading about other women makes me feel like we’re a gang, so if my babbling feels like a hang or at least takes your mind off its 99 problems, jump in – we’re in this together mama!
I now officially live between London and Geneva. Tom started a job last week there, it all happened very quickly – had you told me about it 2 months ago, I would have thought of a joke. But look, he never applied for it, they simply wanted him (can’t possibly blame them!) and it was a lifetime opportunity. I can’t begin to tell you how excited I am for him; how beautiful it is to watch your favourite person in the world reap the magic they’ve been sowing. He’s such a kind and ridiculously smart person, but also the best support I could ever dream of. I’d follow him to the other side of the planet if he wanted me to. So Geneva it is, but don’t rule me out as a Londoner, I’m still a jewel of a crown and will keep jetting back and forth.
Emotionally speaking, it’s been a hell of a rollercoaster. I had never been to Geneva until a quick 12 hours stop in January (and this last week), and the remaining of the obnoxious Parisian left in me led the rest of me to believe that it was a dead place, like a Ricola advert (only the French and Swiss will get that one). How wrong was I. But despite the lack of interest for what turns out to be an amazing place, I was still game! I genuinely believe in signs; I think that we all are surrounded with great opportunities. They float around us like dust in the air, and with the right attitude, we can grab the best among them and turn them into magic. I’m attached to London, but I’m not from here (been here for 5 years on the 31st – happy anniversary to me!) so leaving is not as hard for me as it would be for a true local. I like to be pulled in weird directions, probably because I constantly need things to stress about (I need to justify my daily wine intake you see). Plus, I remember being obsessed with the video game The Sims when it came out, I begged my friend to burn me a copy (60 euros for a video game was something my mother couldn’t get down with at the time, and I can’t blame her, there was a lot of us at home) and would spend hours designing lives for my various virtual families. Geneva is the chance to meet new Freddies, and I spent hours walking around the city imagining what life could be here.
BUT, in an ideal world, I would just focus on the bright side. It’s not an ideal world (tried to build one in The Sims but failed there too – turns out their houses can burn down in a blink of an eye if you don’t teach them how to cook) and I’m also having a hard time coming to terms with it. I’ve finally just started to feel like London is my home: my best friends are here, my husband is from here, I know most bus routes, I love a dirty pub, and I say “sorry” way more than I should really. I’m a Brit (although I can’t do pork scratchings, these are plain vile I’m sorry) I just happen to have a French accent.
So this whole thing, along with the two new projects I’m trying to get off the ground by next month (you guys wait), have been driving me slightly crazy. I feel completely overwhelmed and caught myself, more than once, humming and rocking my head side to side (Beyoncé style) as an unconscious way to try to remain sane. I feel like I’m disappointing a lot of people at the moment, I’m behind so many emails and deadlines (barely had Wi-Fi for the last 8 days), and can’t seem to find the right help.
I had found an intern after advertising a position on here, and despite asking people to not apply if they were not serious, she turned out to be a huge deception, turning up an hour late on her first day, not turning up on the second day because she had a driving lesson (!), or the third day because she apparently didn’t know it was full time, to finally quit over email on the 7th day, after going quiet ever since the 3rd day, as I was boarding my flight to Geneva. In the end I had to delay the whole production and launch calendar of said new project.
But they say that’s where the lessons lie, so I guess – silver linings and all that – the last few weeks taught me:
- I can be very naïve. I’m not always a good judge of character, and I know I’m too nice. BUT that’s absolutely fine! Finding like-minded people to work with is just like love really, it can take time but when you do, magic happens;
- I look around too much. Tunnel vision is a bliss (confidence kick video coming soon, because I’ve just learned that that one is a must my friend) Looking at what others do is a distraction, and not the good kind (try Snickers, they’re a better kind) There’s only one like me, no one can be better at being Freddie than me: I got this;
- I am a superwoman, but it doesn’t mean I can do it all and I should stop assuming that people are going to be disappointed with me if I fail a work deadline or miss a text. Plus, based on the average number of WhatsApp messages I get a day, I doubt anyone has the mind space for my late text – or for yours, for that matter. I should simply admit to people that I’m overwhelmed and that I need more time (if I owe you an email or a text and that you are reading this – here’s a mea culpa, but bear with me)
And to illustrate this new mind-set, I’m channelling a very confident and powerful Freddie with this denim jumpsuit of dreams. I went for the highest heels I had at home but the flares were still too long (bear that in mind if you go for this beaut) – still I remember I was feeling like a million dollar when we shot this outfit, I couldn’t help but looking smug then got embarrassed (I’m a terrible poser, more of a smiler); Tom went “babe don’t worry, it’s working!”