DRAGONS DENS & LESSONS OF 2016
Guys, I haven’t written in so long. I mean written, written. That’s because 2016 (since that’s where we’re getting, eh) has been such an odd one. As you might know, I’ve moved to Geneva last May, and it’s been the loneliest it’s ever been. Oh and I was pregnant, so the hormones didn’t help make it less of a mind fuck. So I guess because of all the changes, mental struggle and the constant monologues, I’ve lost track of myself a bit. I was so consumed by this tiny world of mine that all the conversations were happening there, and not on here. But I got out, and it’s time to look at 2016 cause as much as it was hard, it was full of successes and blessings. But most of all, it was life. None of the hardships were cases of Oh why is that happening to me now? No, they were just normal stages of life as one navigates through it, through womanhood, and 2016 was part of the process of going through some of these stages. It got so challenging at times that I have to make it worth it by looking for the lessons it allowed me to learn and the time it’ll potentially save me in the future, that’s if I learn that is.
So what were they?
Respect your comfort zone
Moving to Geneva happened completely out of the blue, I mean a year ago today we didn’t know it was going to happen. I had just launched the SHE Unleashed Workshop, we had a really cool press launch on the 13th of Jan in London, which after almost 5 years was really starting to feel like home. Home IS London. I have my besties there, a really cool work network, my feel-good places, I have a very good knowledge of the bus map and for some reasons I’m quite smug about it. London IS home. My comfort zone, yet I wasn’t really respecting it in hindsight. When I miss my friends now, or wish I could grab a quick sandwich or a glass of wine with a friend or even someone I’d just met because networking in London is fun and I’d always meet very interesting women, well I remember that I wasn’t making that much effort while I was there. Now I know that when I move back I’ll make it an even better place for myself, by being much more spontaneous and by getting more involved in my various relationships. Getting out of your comfort zone is a needed thing, but so is respecting it and giving it your all.
Women are full of shit
We genuinely are. I was moving country, so I decided to start a new business at the last minute in case moving to Geneva meant I couldn’t work as much or organise the workshops I had just launched, and at that stage I thought well might as well chuck pregnancy in the mix of new life experiences since the movies make it look like a walk in the park. Usually the lady gets a little nauseous, runs out of the meeting room to briefly be sick but comes back just as quickly, looking very refreshed and content. And it also seems like the lack of sleep and the bags under the eyes only turn up once the baby’s born soooo I have 9 months to work my ass off until I turn into a mother and become all of a sudden enlightened about life and its meaning but also about me and who I really am, right? Well that’s a heavy load of bullshit. Pregnancy is a life blessing, but it can also be much much harder than some people will make it seem. I puked my guts for two solid months and ended up in hospital for dehydration, I stopped sleeping at month 5 cause at that stage I was hooked on sparkling water (most boring craving of all times) and spent my nights peeing, oh and I broke my arm in the most pathetic fall. And as much as my son is the most gorgeous baby I’ve ever seen (and the tiniest set of toes known to mankind), I still walk through life quite clueless about what I’m doing. Oh and breastfeeding is a crusade in itself, but don’t you dare give up or the internet will crucify you.
Why do we lie? I’m not too sure, it must be guilt since society spoon feeds us with it, so we don’t come across ungrateful wingers, or weak, because after all we’re women and suffering, along with bearing children, is kind of our whole life purpose summed up.
My new rule of thumb: everything that makes me feel like I’m shit at womanhood and/or life in general, is made up bullshit.
It’s not a race
Both Hollywood and Instagram had me believe that pregnancy and motherhood would have hit me with a massive epiphany by now. Well it hasn’t really happened, but the change of pace really got me rethinking a few things. If you know me I’m obsessed with work, my dream is to build successful businesses, and that’s pretty much my hobby, along with watching Dragons Den and brainstorming with my friends on WhatsApp. I’m a bore, but a hundred mile an hour bore. So when my body stopped keeping up, when I couldn’t work while it seemed like everyone around me was moving forward fast (and noticing that I wasn’t, of course, otherwise it makes the paranoia a tad less fun, doesn’t it?) I hit the ground real hard. Luckily my friends were there to give me the real talk, I was being a total d*ck, I was not being slow I was growing a human life. And it’s not a race, it never is, it’s definitely a journey. OMGGG wait! Have I just had THE epiphany?!
Right, I’ve already chatted too much, can I just say that I’ve loved it though.
I’m not sure why exactly but I had grown scared of writing last year, I think it’s because of that last thing I was touching on, feeling like I was going too slowly made me doubt my capabilities. I’m no writer unlike so many good bloggers (says the woman who keeps on saying there’s no room for comparison…) and English is not my native language (typical self-sabotage related excuse). But I’ll blame it on the hormones, I’m feeling so much more unleashed in 2017. I have this new excitement, it’s boiling inside of my guts, there’s so much I want to do and achieve this year and you should see much more of me so make sure you say hi 🙂
There were quite a few other things I wanted to talk about, I wanted to talk to you about my anxiety, fear of change and more, but I’ll spread it all across several other posts. I’ve genuinely missed blogging, I hope you guys are still reading!
Dress Zara – similar-ish here
Boots: Vagabond at Zalando
Hair: Big Hair No Care