DEALING WITH DYSFUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIPS

This video is long overdue. So were all the previous ones. I’m not sure I told you but I sometimes have a hard time doing them, I still haven’t worked out the best way to not struggle with filming myself ah ah!

We’re episode 4 now! We started with this list of the 30 things we put up with, then we moved to these struggles, from our list, based around our self worth, how we perceive ourselves. We’re tough on ourselves, it’s hardly breaking news. But did you know that you didn’t have to? The only things you owe yourself are love and forgiveness. Don’t catch me on my cheesiness, I mean it. And I’m not saying it’s easy, I have these days where I’m a complete a-hole to myself, for no particular reason. Urgh.

Episode 3 was about how people perceive us and how much what they think affects us. I know you can relate, but then if we can all relate, where do we stop this string of shenanigans?! Catch up on this vid if you haven’t already! I suggest you try and have one week where you completely loose all the cares in the world about what people think.

Did you try? I did and I met the unapologetic Freddie, she’s awesome – I love her!

This week, we’re dealing with another big chunk of these things we put up with: our relationships. Be it friends, boyfriends, husbands or family, we all have a dysfunctional relationship in our life. Think about how much some of them affect you. This list is between you and you, so put it down – no one has to know.

Us women love a good dose of guilt, so you might not even admit to yourself that some people in your life make you feel sad or even frustrated. They’re old friends or family, you feel like it’s your duty to put up with the mess they inject in your life. Think again. Life is too short to not, at least, try and have it your way!

I didn’t realise how important it was to be surrounded with the right people and the right mood until not so long ago. It took me a few hiccups with some people to feel like it was enough and that some change was drastically needed. I can’t begin to tell you how it changed my life for the best.

People I call friends now are ultimate soul mates, they’re my soul pals. I’m 28, pushing 30 taught me that I needed more perspective in my life. But everything gets blurry when you surround yourself with the wrong people. If they’re not lifting you up, making you feel like a million dollars, discard them. When it comes to family, I know it gets trickier.

But you didn’t choose your family, so don’t beat yourself up because you have it hard with some of your relatives. Can distance be a solution? I’ll stop here and let you enjoy this vid with a nice cuppa.

If you love the video, please let me know so I can make more of them. You can even send me suggestions; you know I love a babble ☺
And if you want to chat, just drop me a line if you feel I can help!

We’re getting there dahling, we’re slowly taking over the world. Watch this space!

Masses of smooches,

Freddie x

By Freddie

Paris-born, London-based All smiles sass bag, personal stylist, confidence consultant & Top UK fashion blogger. I help women claim their confidence and power back through workshops and videos. Frankie's not my name.

Comments (2)
  1. Martha August 23, 2015 at 6:05 pm

    loved this video. I have one friend, with whom I’ve been friends with for almost 7 years but I just don’t feel like it’s working anymore. I think we’ve both changed and grown into 2 very distinct characters. I’m taking the cowards way out and simply distancing myself though, I don’t think I can really handle the confrontation. I think confronting someone can be the best move in certain situations but sometimes it might just be better to have the relationship fizzle out naturally maybe. I’d love to hear some tips on how to have that conversation though

    • Frankie August 25, 2015 at 12:09 pm

      Hey Martha! I’m pleased you loved the video! If you’re both comfortable with not talking about it, I guess it’s fine – some relationships just fizzle out like this. For me it was more a case of constant fighting, not even fighting but having to walk on egg shells all the time, to avoid a fight. So in the end I couldn’t even act like myself around this person, it was impossible to not talk about it. But it took me a while till I had enough!I think we all have our limits even if sometimes we’re pushing them very far, ultimately we all reach that point where enough is enough. I think the best way to go about this conversation is to call a heart to heart chat and ask her to tell you honestly what she’s getting from your relationship and what frustrates her, and then you can do the same. It might be that you both feel the same or that the conversation could help you grow your relationship but don’t overthink it and just bring it up if it feels like to much to hold inside you! You don’t have to put up with negative feelings! I would do it face to face and not over the phone or by texts 🙂

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