SELF-LOVE, FIRST & FOREMOST

I’m not usually one for Valentine’s Day, I’ve never really been. But this year I’ll be the one knocking down glasses of champagne with a very special date: myself.

I know I’ve only been a mother for 5mns, but my life has changed in ways I haven’t been able to comprehend just yet. Someone asked me this morning what it felt like to be a mother, at that stage she could have handed me a pen and paper and given me 4 hours to dissert. The lack of sleep, the flow of hormones, and the soreness of both your mind and body will have you quite confused; throw society’s expectations on top and you have no idea what’s what.

freddie harrel, edit the brand dress, afro hair, valentine's day, editorial 

 

So this Valentine’s Day I’m taking myself on a date, in the comfort of my own home, my zone. Last year I surrendered the ownership of my body to a growing foetus. I watched it as it beautifully expanded and adjusted to Hugo’s presence and needs, I watched it grow and birth my gorgeous son.

It was beautiful, but it also was draining and very painful. And just when I thought I could claim my ownership back, I became someone’s mother, on top of being someone’s wife. I absolutely love my boys, more than I’ll ever love myself, so like many women I can easily lose track of myself, and my feelings.

freddie harrel, edit the brand dress, afro hair, valentine's day, editorial

Motherhood might have just started for me, but it’s hopefully for the rest of my life. So, I don’t think that I’m too early when deciding to have a check-up with myself, to probe my heart and mind to face these feelings I haven’t given myself the time to check on since I peed on that stick almost a year ago.

 

Self-love, first and foremost.  Always. Cause I’ll never be good at loving my family if I don’t love and respect myself.

 

 

Today is an ode to myself, I’ll poor myself glasses of champagne, I’ll file and paint the nails post-partum dried the life out, I’ll play my favourite tunes loud in the house (thinking Private Party by India Arie to kick off the festivities), I’ll stay in my PJs or will try on my favourite dresses and will twirl around the house. I’ll sit in front of the mirror and will genuinely ask myself “How are you my love?”, I’ll also ask myself this question I couldn’t answer earlier “How does it feel to be a mother?”.  And I’ll keep on chatting to myself, I’ll sing, I’ll cry if I want to, I’ll dance.

 

And I’ll vow to make a tradition of it, to have a “me night” at least once a month, where my Freddies get to hang.  A new Freddie, the mother, has joined the forever growing plethora of characters that make me, and we haven’t had her welcoming party yet.

 

Here’s to her!

 

When was your last “me-night”? Do you have them often enough; do you have them at all? Let’s chat in the comment section on Instagram or on here!

 

In the meantime, I’m raising a toast to all of us women. May we always respect and love ourselves abundantly.

 

Cheers,

 

Freddie x

 


Credit photos: Nicole Hertel

Outfit details:

Pyjamas | ASOS

White dress | Edit the brand

Sleeping mask | Holistic Silk

Faux fur coat | old ASOS

Blush dress | old ASOS – similar here


 

freddie harrel, edit the brand dress, afro hair, valentine's day, editorial

freddie harrel, edit the brand dress, afro hair, valentine's day, editorial

freddie harrel, edit the brand dress, afro hair, valentine's day, editorial

freddie harrel, edit the brand dress, afro hair, valentine's day, editorial

freddie harrel, edit the brand dress, afro hair, valentine's day, editorial

freddie harrel, edit the brand dress, afro hair, valentine's day, editorial

freddie harrel, edit the brand dress, afro hair, valentine's day, editorial

By Freddie

Paris-born, London-based All smiles sass bag, personal stylist, confidence consultant & Top UK fashion blogger. I help women claim their confidence and power back through workshops and videos. Frankie's not my name.

Comments (9)
  1. Farrrfromusual February 14, 2017 at 10:10 pm

    Hii! First of all it’s 5 months already!? How time flies…
    I super love the idea that you set aside a time to discuss with your being. I have been low key scared the Freddie I enjoyed will go away, but honestly you have remained enthusiastic through it all and I welcome the fact that you are back and better while balancing family and business.
    I totally enjoy you being and I’ve preached you like a gospel (cos it’s too hard not to like you) and preached your gospel of (self-love & confidence). I think I’m ranting already. Freddie keep being you and doing you! By the way I’m a loner and I’m single so I do have a lots of me time.

    • Freddie February 18, 2017 at 4:09 pm

      Ahahah no I menat 5 minutes, he’s 12 weeks old now, 3 months next week! Phewwww 3 months though! I wouldn’t say I’m really balancing much but I’m definitely determined to try! Thanks so much for always saying the things that will put a massive grin on my face, I’m so grateful for you! I’m quite the loner too, see we’re twinning!!! Lots of love xxxxx

  2. Farrrfromusual February 14, 2017 at 10:23 pm

    Hii! First of all it’s 5 months already!? How time flies…
    I super love the idea that you set aside a time to discuss with your being. I have been low key scared the Freddie I enjoyed will go away, but honestly you have remained enthusiastic through it all and I welcome the fact that you are back and better while balancing family and business.
    I totally enjoy you being and I’ve preached you like a gospel (cos it’s too hard not to like you) and preached your gospel of (self-love & confidence). I think I’m ranting already. Freddie keep being you and doing you! By the way I’m a loner and I’m single so I do have a lot of me time.

  3. Jandrew February 15, 2017 at 6:06 pm

    Freddie my dear , what a lovely post! Love ❤️ yourself, and only then can you love someone else.
    Your photos are such fun !!
    Jandrew
    Dress The Part
    http://jandrewspeaks.com

  4. Thando Moleketi February 21, 2017 at 2:19 pm

    Love the post but more importantly you look Amazing Freddie!

  5. lucy February 22, 2017 at 4:09 pm

    This is a lovely read, made my day. Will be following this blog closely! 🙂

    Thanks Freddie!

    http://www.divinetrash.co.uk

  6. Elaine Turner February 23, 2017 at 11:29 pm

    Love those heart balloons! And your style! You keep taking care of yourself mama!

  7. Jodi-Kay Edwards March 1, 2017 at 9:28 pm

    Such a beautiful home! This is such a sweet post. I totally agree about loving yourself so you can provide proper love to your family. What a wonderful way to spend V-Day! 🙂
    http://lifestylefinesse.com/overwhelmed/

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